Wednesday 15 May 2019

I thought I knew love...

I thought I knew love

I thought I knew love,
When she struck me like thunder,
At the pinnacle of my mind,
And triggered emotions to rush,
Into the hallmark of my heart,
She was a dark skinned girl
Ayeh we were only babies,
that's all it'll ever be, an imprint

I thought I knew love,
Ayeh, I was still young,
my emotions got sprung,
I was emotionally dumb
She was mentally older,
I should have kissed her,
All I did was blubber,
At least I met Naivety

I thought I knew love,
When we tried to rekindle,
A spark we once cooked on.
But you were full grown,
Body full like a blow up doll,
I really should have known,
Loving you would tick me off,
I chose you but got Jealousy

I thought I knew love,
I was only a budding teenager,
Eager to discover the wanders,
That love unveils through others,
And I met you my neighbour,
I kept you in my paper stacker,
Aka a wallet you had me eager, 
Curious to fondle till I kissed you

Hmm,

I thought I knew love,
And there she was, oh God!
beauty and brains I went insane,
We'd chat on phone and wonder,
Journeying colours and numbers,
Dislikes and likes childish insights,
So on holiday I took her for a date,
Met her ego, never to see her again

I thought I knew love,
Felt like I had been through enough,
till she lit me up and it was surefire
Beauty like a punchline micdrop
So it was time for me to get some,
She would give it to me, me to her
We were in our own world a while,
Till she opted out and gave it to him

I thought I knew love,
I swear I thought I had graduated,
And seen it all but love is underated
So I met this woman that was older,
she made me feel like the only one,
I didn't know I was a hit and run,
Role played till the movie was done
Toy boy for a lady on lonely ploys

I thought I knew love
Till I realised it just ain't enough,
I put in that work they say it pays,
They forget to mention it pains,
I put up with my insecurities,
Let her in and made meals for free,
But she had expectations to meet,
For her "all out" meant a cash-out

I thought I knew love,
At this point I learnt that it's blind,
I fell hard for my ex's best friend,
She was perfect, it was destiny,
the broken road to her was agony,
I finally made it home; temporarily;
Because of uncertainty, I left...
Fear drove me down my mistake

I thought I knew love,
But what I carried was a void,
My brains had been abandoned,
So I felt like I needed a companion,
And voila, a black mare for the road
So we'd watch the moon in tandem,
Travelling without any direction,
Till it was done and we parted ways

I thought I knew love,
But I just figured out that I'm a liar,
I glimmered coated in experience All I carried was Disappointment,
It all started with turning celibate,
Good intention but I lost direction,
I made promises but broke them,
Heart and body were disconnected

I thought I knew love,
Until I shook hands with desire,
She never run her lips on my skin,
Never laid a finger unlike wind,
But when she spoke I quivered,
She often glanced, my spine tingled,
My mind sizzled as blood rushed,
Am still not sure if this was lust...

I thought I knew love,
But for each curve ball a lesson,
Moments of blessing then stressing,
Moments of profound knowledge,
Then moments of ... What? How?
And now here I am once again,
Scarred, scared, hopeful and lonely,
feeling nothing yet you're so ideal.

I thought I knew love... 
Ayeh?

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