Old dog Blue.

Old dog Blue. 

How'd I not see this through,

How'd I not know it was you,

Yet for all those days we shared stew,

You unlike happy Sally stayed true, 

Immersing me in sweet old blues,

You old dog, you, you're gone and I won't miss you

loud Mouth

Loud Mouth

His world revolved around her milky way, 

Each move predetermined by her omnipresence...

When letters were scripted to her in romantic gesture, 

Each letter exorbitant as wrought cost a soul, 

For each word paid its own price.

She was a vending machine,

His words were coins gradually dropped into her,

And as she clinked and clanked, she ejected the wrong emotion.

He got back onto his knees. 

Top chakra on the floor to say a prayer,

Spoke for a moment then let God speak in God speed to guide him.

Alas he had secretly prayed for disaster...

She said he lashed out when things hit the fan, 

and when she confronted him and broke down 

how their love was sacrificed when he angered her;

She lashed out!

She saw fault in his ways, 

He saw fault in her ways, 

They failed to accept each others flaws,

They kept flogging their hearts.

She asked him if he was truly in love or merely in love with the idea of love? 

He hoped it wasn't the case but the question opened up a case, 

where he was defendant bound to be persecuted 

because his plea seemed invalid.

He objected her accusation, 

let a deluge of emotion flow from his mouth like an open dam.

He hoped that his words would heal like an elixir or maybe reveal what was broken; ayeh,

All his loud mouth did was tear her apart, 

He looked at her cry, He got angry...

All he had to feel and deal with was  virtual emotion. 

No proximity for a hug her or room to express true emotion, 

So he spoke some more but his words failed him, he chocked!

He went silent, she stayed silent...

Where did you go?

Where did you go? 

Where did you go, my love? 

Where did you go?

I thought I had it all figured out, 

I honestly thought I did... 

I prayed to have you like many men pray to have riches,

And like a genie out a bottle, God granted my wishes. 

We'd hold hands till our palms would slowly start to slip in sweat,

And like they hold palm leaves on Easter only we knew what it meant.

To love someone without condition and to sacrifice for the sake of love,

There was innocence in what we had and we shared it all in half.

I'd take pieces of you like fruits off a tree,

You'd imbibe off of my honey like I were a bee.

We'd fight and forget to burry the hatchet, 

So our worries locked away stayed in our closet.

They'd creep out like ghouls and haunt us at our lowest, 

Patronising every heart beat till either one of us would weep

And slowly hearts that beat for one another started to skip,

Till God tested our will and as we tried to leap I slipped and we tripped 

I got broken, your state was inexplicable, 

And I didn't stay long enough to help you pick up after your fall. 

I am selfish, stupid, and inconsiderate...

I thought I had it figured out, 

I honestly thought I did...

Now where did you go, my love? 

Where did you go?

I see lovers snicker and gently bicker as their plates clink over dinner,

And my patience like every pull off a ball of yarn only grows thinner.

Am eager and slightly bitter but its only if one squeezed out my emotions like a lemon that they would discover, 

a lost and wandering heart trying to find hope and serenity in empty hands or just a place of its own to slumber.

I wonder, besides the wall you built, do you seek shelter in the arms of another lover? 

I don't know how to break your walls down anymore, at best am only a spectator.

It's no wonder I admire them in their places of solace,

Yet if I were in their shoes I'd oft feel troubled and restless. 

We want in, they want out,

When we're out, we need grout, 

When we're in, we have doubts

An enigma, I can't work out

Yet I only seek a hand to hold, a hug for warmth and ears that work, 

To hear me out as I chit and chat over things that leave a mark.

Someone to call my own that I can stare at deep and long,

Without lust but splendor over the beauty I behold.

Someone whose mind I can cross and they'd put me first before ego comes along,

To start a tag of war as one ponders back and forth over reaching in like its wrong.

Yet to be lonesome is appalling,

But how many surely know this?

How many know that when the money is gone,
friends too busy to tag along and the hour glass run out your calling,

You'll have no place to run to, no place to call home
for that one person you neglected walked out sobbing?

Where did you go, my love? 

Where did you go?

I thought I had love figured out, 

I honestly thought I did...

Blue Jay

I caught this blue jay one day,
she's a beauty, I must say...
I treated her to affection and taught her to stay,
She'd chirp and sing to me everyday.

I'd crack unwise jokes and she'd let me have my way,
We'd go out into fields and feel the breeze,
often I'd let her leave and fly into the wilderness of thieves;
fortunately, she'd return but speak little of where she had been.

I'd have to curse and caress her until she'd sing,
the beauty of music is how it makes you feel,
the flip side is the ambiguity that is overwhelming as a shrill.
So I was always lost in translation trying to decipher her will...

I often cut my heart out my heart out and put it on the table,
A thing she seemed not to fathom but kept her composure to guard her ego,
yet her mind went wild like horses let loose out a stable,
and I lay there beguiled and convinced by her melodious fables.

I used to enjoy singing with her,
we were always in harmony despite the times we'd spur.
I blame myself for I always pushed her far,
and her emotions would stir and jump out of her like fur

She'd always keep silent and I hated to see her sulk,
So I'd poke and poke, and sh'ed swell up like the hulk.
Alas, She'd never express her rage, she'd contain it and let it lay in bulk.
It daunted me and I'd percolate but learned to steam off.

Time spilt us apart, and when she'd sing I'd never hark,
I was miles away in parks laying back and watching birds.
Sometimes I would flirt, that's when the problems start,
but what drew us apart was Ivy in our hearts,

A melange of broken trust, miscommunication, and fettered lust,
burning fires of desire driven by expectations unmet,
and deep within loud yet unheard, our souls were tumultuous,
I bet we could have gone far had we tried to re-strategize...

Now we're enacting crabs in a barrel so much for being mammals,
I should have caged her, so much for a bird in hand,
Now she's somewhere out there in the sky flying- obviously
Ayeh, they say if you love someone, you have to set them free.

Fading lights

Fading lights

I let go of the person that was breaking me yet keeping me together,

I now have no strings, and the stench from my heart might as well be
what will end the life I keep thinking about giving up on...