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Conjolted Poetry

Conjolted Poetry

Sunday, 3 July 2016

KLA [Performance piece]


I was born and raised in the beautiful city KLA,
in wandegeya flats opposite Makerere of KLA.
I went to sunshine kindergarten then Agakhan primary both in the heart of KLA.
My Secondary had a slump in it when they dropped timid me in Kibuli S.S KLA;
ayeh, I got out when asked to rebound and moved to GHA of KLA,
all thanks to my mother who persuaded my father to take me out of misery.
Now, some might say I'm spoilt and bougie, who cares; I'm from KLA.
But don't get me wrong like they do out here in KLA,
truth is, needless to say, we all have places we fit in here in KLA,
and those were mine until I had to leave KLA...

Then I heard hearsay from people while I was away about my KLA,
they'd say that her people had turned gay i felt betrayed by my KLA,
they'd say thugs now use crowbars just to rob bags in KLA,
and that the gang Kifacey was going all out in Katwe of KLA.
Ayeh, robbery wasn't tragedy, the problem was lack of jobs they'd say.
And now that I got back into the heart of UG KLA,
I see all these  learned youth that studied to get jobs in KLA-
making "steady progress" all day everyday on the streets  of KLA,
opting to drink beer without money to forget their worries of KLA,
or maybe sell Bagiya and or clothes in bikutiya to make ends meet here in KLA.
Now you might think this ironic or stale like tonic until the only way out for you in KLA
is to become another sell out or butty boy like those balling here in KLA,
but don't judge a man's hustle if you've lived in KLA,
cause hey! A man's got to do what a man wants to do here in KLA.
That's why I don't blame Museveni who run for another term to run KLA,
despite our cliché pot holes roads that shouldn't be spoke of like voldemort here in KLA,
or even the hospitals that have minimal machinery here in KLA,
and runaway doctors 'cause of brain drain someone should have trained them to stay in KLA-
but hey! Minimum wage is little or no pay for our doctors, teachers, or anyone supporting KLA,
yet ministers unlike Jennifer are on Caviar everyday for what, ey!? Snoring in parliament of KLA?
Then the infuriating patrol and tear gas cars that control us on the roads of KLA,
the absurd traffic that has us in long queues everywhere in KLA,
it's like were lining up for passports at the ministry of internal affairs near Lufula, KLA.
Then the popo that won't say no-no  to a little dough-dough in KLA,
pshh! just to give you leeway from a melee  here in KLA,

But hey, hey, hey, I didn't come here to rep over nega-ti-vi-teh in KLA
Even if we got chicks that gold dig deep, streets that don't sleep and men that pay for sweet sleep in KLA;
nah, we're good mahn, tuli bulungi here in KLA
ayeh keep an eye on your good bae, she's prey for those with cash to play in KLA,
'cause kampala sibizimbe and birds are feasts for those in waylay in KLA-
since we got girls from Busoga, mpigi, soroti, kigali, Burundi, nairobi, londoni- all in KLA,
That's 'cause the lights at least rarely go off here in KLA,
be it at home, schools, hospitals and most importantly bars and clubs of KLA.
That's why we par-teh all night in KLA,
we've got anonymous money and we're "happy" here in KLA,
that's why we dress so fresh oh were so LA here in KLA,
matter of fact their style is jaded compared to ours in KLA,
you see us on the streets and new malls in KLA,
in clothes crotchet to fit you'd think we own Impala's here in KLA,
Yet, If you want to go fast like kiprotich and swish through the streets of KLA-
hop onto a boda boda but you better have pessa for your odyssey in KLA
I tell you we are educated over here in KLA,
that's why I have a smart brain manufactured in KLA,
and even if we might not have enough cooperate jobs in my KLA,
we're street smart and the future's bright for KLA.
Gezesa ku baana baife abomu ghetto da KLA,
bale tibaide ba JAY Z, bategeka ebigambo, babimeketa, meh babiwandula mu myala ja KLA,
ateh wano mu KLA abasoga nabasinga mu eigwangwa lya kabaka elistwire KLA;
ayeh Baba! ogenda nosanga omwuala wa buganda mu KLA,
nga' asitude wamanga! naye nga tamanyi banyankole bafe aba KLA-
usanga abanyarwandakazi bafite amazi i KLA

And then they say the grass is always greener on the other side but not here in KLA,
Sha! our weather's so beautiful some say if you want a taste of heaven come to KLA,
have you seen the beautiful views here in KLA,
Buziga, Muyenga, Rubaga, Kibuli, Kololo in all KLA.
Our city's so green you could think we're vegetarians here in KLA,
and oh Gosh! The food for us gourmets in KLA
Name any other city where you'll get all cuisines and our local dishes of KLA?!
And then the all day all night special from Busoga that found its way into KLA.
Can we please have a moment of silence for the Rolex(not the watch!)
And even if we might not have a lot of burgundy here in KLA,
every day is bargain day in KLA.
And sometimes we might cheat ourselves to break even in KLA,
but we are loving and welcoming people here in KLA,
and our extended families are a strong support system here in KLA,
so don't mind the six inch fences we do welcome all into our homes any day in KLA.
But don't get it twisted, we'll treat you as our own but you better pay those yaka bills of KLA.
Here's a fun fact, did you know KLA is the only city where the people are developing faster than it is?
I love my KLA...

We could be here all day and night to talk about KLA
but I'm not one stay even if I love it when you say, "KLA"
so until we meet again keep  it surreal, live and love KLA

Another one bites the dust

Echoes of the melodic words;
"once a cheat always a cheat"
tweet in my mind like hummingbirds;

Nag me and keep me on my feet-
ducking shots and ignoring calls,
trying not to deal with the beautiful fleet.

That could re-affect my rapport if nature calls.
'Cause Us guys are easy like ABC's
just a glimpse of skin can break our walls...

See, I've dealt with girls from overseas,
girls that in us see no faults,
and girls that just put you on your knees.

I've told stories of Rita who I run from like bolt,
Hajat that cried wolf in family trivia,
Caslanthia, who worshipped the ground  I waltzed

But as you know, life is a cinema.
every day a new tale to play out for God
from "written scrolls" that reveal who we are.

Now in whirl wind off my feet I'm aboard,
emotional gravity like a leaf midair;
and much as I've given into her fraud...

I still, in silence and wonder as I stare
'cause my eyes are not frostbitten,
and what they see is sometimes unfair.

Fair maidens biting at fiflthy dust,
hoping and wishing over wanderlust-
yet despite this body being chaste,

I also secretly ask myself
what it'd be like if we took this path ?

The Angels Voice

The Angels Voice

Act I
Scene 1; At the hospital reception.
Narrator; An intern who often has one of her friends come over to see her at the hospital talks about the distress hospitals bring her;

16:23pm(if I had my way)
"I hate hospitals! (Mary says)
They're like burial grounds;
however; unlike death,
misery is unbound,
it's like a one way street;
with no exits to leave.
for even when one's back on their feet,
and discharged; they're charged like thieves,
as if from the hospital they stole the disease,
and that's not the end of it, they need medicine,
another reason to have them on their knees,
weak, sombre controlled by intoxicants-
that make your recovering body dependant,
to the dosages from currency generating juggernauts.

It drives me crazy! I don't even know why I chose to do Medicine, and you know...

The issue is neither cannula's, needles,
nor ailing patients or sick widows,.
doctors that have lost all emotion,
expecting mothers causing commotion,
rolling on floors due to pain and distress,
the open wounds and disturbing fractures,
or patients with sickening fistula,
grown men in diapers with diarrhoea;
no! It's also not the blind stuck in lines,
to have other underlying illness diagnosed,
babies with plasters crying all day.
grown men coerced by fists of pain,
gallons of blood down hospital drains,
it's not that, matter of fact it's none of that,
for to me, even if it might be odd to another,
those are the experiences that fascinate me.

But what gets to me,
is that all these people are innocent,
none of them asks to suffer.
Okay, some say they slipped,
lost grip and landed into HIV,
but all they sought was to satisfy-
desire that haunts every being..

If I had my way,
at least, diseases would be for people causing trouble in societies.
If I had my way,
hospitals would treat all for free but doctors too have needs.
If I had my way,
babies would be peed into bowls and left to hibernate,
I mean we're about 75% water, so somehow we save mothers.
If I had my way,
diarrhoea would be for those exorbitant foodies that just don't know when to stop

(They both crack up and Yagwe Interjects, "
"if wishes were horses, beggars would be riding and dons would be the horses. ")
Mary just goes on wishing,
If I had my way,
people like you would get migraines whenever they'd say things like that!

Narrator;    An ambulance comes in and  duty calls.
Mary: "I'm sorry Yagwe, niina oku genda. But I'll see you soon, text me or something ... don't be a stranger!"
Yagwe strolls back home

End of scene 1.

Scene 2; At the hospital's cafeteria.
(I'm not ill, I have a malignant tumour)
A week after the patient had been admitted, Yagwe drops  by the hospital to see Mary...
As he looks for her in the cafeteria, he finds her with Derone having lunch and joins in.

"Yagwe... Hey! Omaze notuuka¿" Mary says.
"Meet Derone, the guy with such an outlandish name.
Engalo ze zikaluba enge zabalimi abava e bundibugyo..."

"Ha! Really Mary! Don't listen to her, she's just having her way with me cause there's not much I can do about it right now..." (Derone holds his head in an attempt to suppress a creeping headache)

"Are you okay?" Yagwe asks..

"He'll be okay, Oh btw, this is the patient that came in last time"

"For real!? Nice to meet you... uuhhmm "

"Derone, the names Derone Nsubuga"

"Haha, I figured something like Derone Davis. My names Yagwe, Chuck Yagwe,
The Chuck is short for Chakademus... "


"So what are you in for?"

"I'm being charged for sarcasm, says Mary"

"hahaha, I see her stories are infectious. But no, seriously... looks like you've been serving time for a while since I was last here. It must be something serious."

"Well, I have a tumour, a brain tumour..."
"Don't give me those eyes, I'm not the first! "

"Haha. It's inevitable, So what's it like anyway?"

In partial breath, Derone attempts to describe...

To be ill is to have a headache after watching TV,
and you drink it off with a glass of water.
To be ill is have your tummy ache-
'cause you ate something bad and healed it with magnesium.
To be ill is to have a cold caused by the cold,
yet all you need is to go out for a jog and shake of that mold.

But I'm not ill, I have tumour. And not the kind that's begnin,
a malignant one that's cancerous and kills you fast but serene.
as it invades your tissue and metastizes to different locations of your body.
sometimes it makes you feel ill, you feel like you have control over it,
but often it feels like your cut open everyday,
then someone drops obuganga(gun powder) on your fresh open wound;
smirks at you for a moment and lights that bitch up it with a match.
And when you get a seizure, you start to feel like a beaver biting on steel,
and when your body gets paralysed, hemiparesis, they call it,
one would think you had swag but it's like  carrying a bag of cement on one side.
At times, you get visually distorted, you start to see with one eye,
but the fish on the hook is not the slur in my speech, nausea, and or vomiting,
It's the headaches, they never go away, it's like I am earth and pain is caused-
by those above me, stumping, and stumping, and stumping, I wish could stop them!
I wish we could trade shoes, I wish the pain would go away, but I'm fine! I'm proud of myself.
I'll keep my shoes 'cause I wouldn't wish this on anybody, not even for a day! "

(Scene ends)

Scene 3; Cursing God. (Am I your toy?)
That evening, Derone has a rough night, wakes up in pain and decides to get himself one of those prescription beers given to patients having withdrawal; however, he goes to the bathroom first....

"What the fuck do you want from me God?" He says.

"This must be like a block buster to you,
and you're there with your girl on popcorn-
and I'm that dramatic yet egotistic fella-
playing witty yet sad in your telenovela...

What the fuck do you want from me, what?

You want politeness, Ok, thank you, lord,
for you have give me a beautiful tumour,
do you not see that I'm coughing out blood,
do you have any sort of mercy within you?
And then you call yourself All mighty GOD...

What the fuck do you want from me, WHAT?

When unprepared how can this be a test?
Yet you have me on knees begging please,
you're like a woman yet we call you "Him,"
you want me to plead and prove to you,
yet you can look within and see it all...

What the fuck do you want from me, WHAT!

Looking at myself in the mirror, I'm weak!
Contemplating suicide but I won't abide,
I won't cause myself any other form of pain-
the only reason I'm still alive and ranting,
is cause I am not as weak and stupid as you!

I would never cause anyone pain, why?!
But you have me in your "torture chamber,"
tormenting me to give answers to no questions,
feeling like a needle is going up my pee hole,
you're a sadist, you must be Hitler's brother

What do you honestly want from me, What?

Am I just your little toy,
matter of fact are we your little toys?
Your little characters of this toy story,
where without your puppet strings,
or hands to hold us up we're nothing,
then you must be an eight year old,
with ambitions to seek and earn gold,
so you're playing out caricature-
to give you some delusional satisfaction...

Uggh! (sighs in pain)

I often find peace when I'm feeling OK,
but it's days like these when I feel like shit,
that I would rather play roulette all alone,
but I'm more than just this pain, these pills,
I am more than all those awful people-
that waste time and emotion to demean me,

But why? Why? Why?
Why would you make me so strong yet so weak?

And you never hear me when I call on you,
I mean I'm thankful for the days I breathe,
look up at the sky and see your beauty;
but out of the 365 days in a calendar year-
I have 200 to be amazed by your stupidity!

The rest, I honestly have no damn time,
to remember that you gave me life,
I mean look at me, I barely have the energy,
to leave this bathroom to go steal a beer,
I mean they prescribe them to patients
having withdrawal, why can't I have one?"

Ugh, (he sighs and groans in pain then falls to the ground!)

[End of scene.]

Scene 4; At the hill top in Buziga.
(we are mortal)
When Derone is feeling better after collapsing in the bathroom,
Mary and Yagwe decide to treat him so they take him to the hills...

"God! Is this what  getting into heaven feels like?" says Derone.

" It's been a while since you left those four walls?" Yagwe asks,

"You have no idea, my friend. You have no idea!"

"My life is an extract from Greys anatomy,
I'm in and out of hospitals and ambulances,
you'd think I'm a doctor or an EMT yet I'm-
ordinary man and this isn't the life I chose"

Silence creeps into there space and Derone breaks it,
when he pulls out a cigarette only for Mary to say,

"Derone, are you crazy?"

"Hahaaa, let me tell you something Mary, we are mortal.
It's the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing.
If you're looking to be accepted into a society,
then you have to act like the people of the society.
But, if you're looking for the society to accept you,
be you so that society can understand you.
It's simple,
God created us as humans to prove our appreciation,
he is a jealous God, isn't he?
Doesn't that give him reason to test us?
And don't we all have the choice to do right or wrong?
God knows the outcome of our eventual choices-
that is what they call pre-ordination for he is steps ahead,
and this is how this moment was meant to play out,
I've been dealt cards and I play as the joker!

But honestly, one thing that rings constantly in my head is,
we are mortal,
Even if you have ten bitches like Hugh heffner and they call you Mr Peaches;
we are mortal!
Even if you can drive your car with your shoulders and swerve a couple of boulders;
we are mortal!
Even if you can do hand stands like Jackie Chan and probably belong in the circus;
we are mortal!
Even if one day you, Yagwe, get the chance to sleep with Mrs world, the world won't remember that shit, neither will will you for;
we are mortal!
So even if I smoke blunts, chug bottles, stagger back to my home with piss running down my crotch;
we are mortal!
Even if I twitch, flinch, get headaches that tick and pinch when I hear sounds with high pitch;
we are mortal!"

Yagwe joins in...

"Even if we go to school, study and work hard to get good jobs and security for our transit life;
we are mortal!
"Even if we cook good, or make love like those romantic deities we've never even seen;
we are mortal!"

Then Mary too catches on,

" or even if I have lips like Jolie, walk like Tyra and look as beautiful as zari;
we are mortal!

"I'm glad your getting my drift!"

"How about if I live my life like Hitler and think some human beings are unworthy of their lives?" Yagwe asks.

"Well, we a are mortal, it could be a motto.  But don't live your life incautious of how you treat others. You'd rather be selfish to yourself than to those around you."

Act 2; The twist
Scene 5; The surgery
Derone has been picking up and things are looking good for him. He's from a wealthy family so the money for the surgery wasn't fund raised  It was available so the surgery happened as soon as the doctors suggested and it was successful.  They discharged him on private home care to recover and his recovery time was miraculous; However, Weeks later, he died in an accident as he was making a trip to the mall to buy Marry a present for her birthday.  In his will, which he wrote while at the hospital thinking he would not make it out of the surgery. He suggested that Marry write his eulogy and she did so...

(The angle's voice)

"I had only known Derone Nsubuga for a few months before his tragic passing.
So I knew very little about him but when he spoke, it's like scrolls of old were being unrolled.
He lived his life a little too far off the edge but I figured he was a daring eagle,
the kind they shoved out of the nest to take on life and learn how to flap his wings.
He taught me to have strength and gave me reason to live right and do right by people.
he was an honourable man. He has gone to soon, I have lost a friend and budding love...

It is not the quantity of time spent together,
nay, it is the quality of the ardent moments.
It is not from gifts we receive and treasure,
nay, it is in the words that sink deep when spoken.

It is not those in whom we find convenience,
nay, it is in those we find confidence and comfort.
It is not in those who hide behind innocence,
nay, it is in those whom truth comes first.

It is not in those who mask deep emotion,
nay, it is from those souls that spew out like fountains.
It is not in those who are shallow like the bay of an ocean,
nay, It uses the souls of those whom depth of knowledge can pertain.

The angle's voice speaks only through some of us.
our bodies if pure, are portals, if impure are superfluous.

Like Derone always said, "we are mortal." To add on, we are mortal but we can be portals.

Thank you.  Good evening"

Scene 6; The dreary monologue
Yagwe is over whelmed by the situation after having lost his friend, he goes back to the spot where they had taken him before he died, stays their alone, and rants to God about the situation...

"In the midst of  unseen budding flowers,
late night hours and twinkling stars;
I ruminate over my flaws and the laws-
that govern us beings you made.

Time seems to be mother of all
but in our hands it slips like pearl beads-
that we use to recite our hail Marys,
and in a flash, the clock stops to tick.

It's absurd and my mind it perturbs;
how you can distress a man's whole life,
heal him in an instant then kill him;
I try to adhere your motive sans retort.

Some days you bring me in close,
most times your strange devious ways,
they tenderly push and abash my soul-
yet I am yours after all why take a toll?

I stumble and fall you pick me up, lord!
I cry then unto you I call and you heed,
I smile and laugh then forget you exist,
you must get awfully mad this I must desist!

But I persist that you handle this all wrong,
cause often its seems you're just playing-
swishing and swaying your magical wand,
tweaking moments to cause an alarm.

I look at situations and they overwhelm me,
thinking can I verily do this better than He,
I often say yes but if put to the gruelling test,
I'd fail like a scholar and whimper at best.

I'll lay this to rest, it must bring you distaste.
me being churlish for I cannot comprehend,
what it is like to be in your enormous shoes.
keep them, my size fits fine, you chose it.

And on this journey I trek you give me aid,
you sent me Derone to shake and wake me,
had I cast a blind eye I'd miss the blessing
 yet truly who am I to receive your grace?

Who are we?  Who are we?"

Closing scene; I don't deserve this. Choir song