Don't scroll, search for it here...

Conjolted Poetry

Conjolted Poetry

Sunday, 3 July 2016

KLA [Performance piece]


I was born and raised in the beautiful city KLA,
in wandegeya flats opposite Makerere of KLA.
I went to sunshine kindergarten then Agakhan primary both in the heart of KLA.
My Secondary had a slump in it when they dropped timid me in Kibuli S.S KLA;
ayeh, I got out when asked to rebound and moved to GHA of KLA,
all thanks to my mother who persuaded my father to take me out of misery.
Now, some might say I'm spoilt and bougie, who cares; I'm from KLA.
But don't get me wrong like they do out here in KLA,
truth is, needless to say, we all have places we fit in here in KLA,
and those were mine until I had to leave KLA...

Then I heard hearsay from people while I was away about my KLA,
they'd say that her people had turned gay i felt betrayed by my KLA,
they'd say thugs now use crowbars just to rob bags in KLA,
and that the gang Kifacey was going all out in Katwe of KLA.
Ayeh, robbery wasn't tragedy, the problem was lack of jobs they'd say.
And now that I got back into the heart of UG KLA,
I see all these  learned youth that studied to get jobs in KLA-
making "steady progress" all day everyday on the streets  of KLA,
opting to drink beer without money to forget their worries of KLA,
or maybe sell Bagiya and or clothes in bikutiya to make ends meet here in KLA.
Now you might think this ironic or stale like tonic until the only way out for you in KLA
is to become another sell out or butty boy like those balling here in KLA,
but don't judge a man's hustle if you've lived in KLA,
cause hey! A man's got to do what a man wants to do here in KLA.
That's why I don't blame Museveni who run for another term to run KLA,
despite our cliché pot holes roads that shouldn't be spoke of like voldemort here in KLA,
or even the hospitals that have minimal machinery here in KLA,
and runaway doctors 'cause of brain drain someone should have trained them to stay in KLA-
but hey! Minimum wage is little or no pay for our doctors, teachers, or anyone supporting KLA,
yet ministers unlike Jennifer are on Caviar everyday for what, ey!? Snoring in parliament of KLA?
Then the infuriating patrol and tear gas cars that control us on the roads of KLA,
the absurd traffic that has us in long queues everywhere in KLA,
it's like were lining up for passports at the ministry of internal affairs near Lufula, KLA.
Then the popo that won't say no-no  to a little dough-dough in KLA,
pshh! just to give you leeway from a melee  here in KLA,

But hey, hey, hey, I didn't come here to rep over nega-ti-vi-teh in KLA
Even if we got chicks that gold dig deep, streets that don't sleep and men that pay for sweet sleep in KLA;
nah, we're good mahn, tuli bulungi here in KLA
ayeh keep an eye on your good bae, she's prey for those with cash to play in KLA,
'cause kampala sibizimbe and birds are feasts for those in waylay in KLA-
since we got girls from Busoga, mpigi, soroti, kigali, Burundi, nairobi, londoni- all in KLA,
That's 'cause the lights at least rarely go off here in KLA,
be it at home, schools, hospitals and most importantly bars and clubs of KLA.
That's why we par-teh all night in KLA,
we've got anonymous money and we're "happy" here in KLA,
that's why we dress so fresh oh were so LA here in KLA,
matter of fact their style is jaded compared to ours in KLA,
you see us on the streets and new malls in KLA,
in clothes crotchet to fit you'd think we own Impala's here in KLA,
Yet, If you want to go fast like kiprotich and swish through the streets of KLA-
hop onto a boda boda but you better have pessa for your odyssey in KLA
I tell you we are educated over here in KLA,
that's why I have a smart brain manufactured in KLA,
and even if we might not have enough cooperate jobs in my KLA,
we're street smart and the future's bright for KLA.
Gezesa ku baana baife abomu ghetto da KLA,
bale tibaide ba JAY Z, bategeka ebigambo, babimeketa, meh babiwandula mu myala ja KLA,
ateh wano mu KLA abasoga nabasinga mu eigwangwa lya kabaka elistwire KLA;
ayeh Baba! ogenda nosanga omwuala wa buganda mu KLA,
nga' asitude wamanga! naye nga tamanyi banyankole bafe aba KLA-
usanga abanyarwandakazi bafite amazi i KLA

And then they say the grass is always greener on the other side but not here in KLA,
Sha! our weather's so beautiful some say if you want a taste of heaven come to KLA,
have you seen the beautiful views here in KLA,
Buziga, Muyenga, Rubaga, Kibuli, Kololo in all KLA.
Our city's so green you could think we're vegetarians here in KLA,
and oh Gosh! The food for us gourmets in KLA
Name any other city where you'll get all cuisines and our local dishes of KLA?!
And then the all day all night special from Busoga that found its way into KLA.
Can we please have a moment of silence for the Rolex(not the watch!)
And even if we might not have a lot of burgundy here in KLA,
every day is bargain day in KLA.
And sometimes we might cheat ourselves to break even in KLA,
but we are loving and welcoming people here in KLA,
and our extended families are a strong support system here in KLA,
so don't mind the six inch fences we do welcome all into our homes any day in KLA.
But don't get it twisted, we'll treat you as our own but you better pay those yaka bills of KLA.
Here's a fun fact, did you know KLA is the only city where the people are developing faster than it is?
I love my KLA...

We could be here all day and night to talk about KLA
but I'm not one stay even if I love it when you say, "KLA"
so until we meet again keep  it surreal, live and love KLA


  1. Hahaha yo sarcasm about kla just makes one love it more...great piece

    1. hahaha.... Thank you ... the time I performed this guys died. especially that part with the lusoga