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Conjolted Poetry

Conjolted Poetry

Saturday, 29 October 2016

A glitch in the system

I toss and turn when I'm half dead-fast asleep,
It must be that my soul needs to escape my body
where I'm limited and fear reality will soon intercept-
my subconscious and ruin serendipity in dream state.
For when I wake, my mind won't let me rest in peace,
It dispatches messages to my subconscious making me unconscious,
as I try to fathom contradictions that destitute me of hope,
I've been tuned to distinguish right from wrong-
often some rights seem wrong and some wrongs seem right.
The glitch in the system bothers me I'm appalled.
I once was innocent back when I was ignorant,
until my ignorance boomeranged against me,
then knowing things became my reason to live.
I now know too much, a lot of which I wish,
I could unlearn, re-spool and store away.
yet too much isn't enough, I need more than more,
I yearn for infinity I'm insatiable, I'm a back hole,
I'm limitless yet seem to retain less and less,
more reason for me to stress, I'm a time bomb ,
and once I explode I'll limbo into oblivion.

Thursday, 27 October 2016

Who am I?

I heard some guys by the street some day-
gossiping with nothing good to say,
"Bwe bwo obwana obuta sasula rent,
(those are the kids that don't pay rent)
Obuzukuka nebusanga emere ku meeza"
that wake up to food on their table)
I knew they were talking about me,
I brushed it off and hoofed back home,
Of course to where I pay no rent and clown
Ayeh do they know me or have a notion of me?
Drawn from clothes and scents wafting off me;
perfumes and clothes bought by my family.
I'm thankful Lord, you gives me the best and-
you have continued to give me in-debt
but only you know the story chest deep.

They don't know that I too weep,
they don't know I too am hunger whipped-
on these streets where it's hard to achieve a feat.
I don't blame them, not one bit!
For they can't see beyond this skin,
to discover the misery of an "educated fool"
even if they could, they have no time for me,
they don't know I walk streets and get sore feet,
sometimes it's cause luxury got the best of me
other times it's cause I don't have a coin that fits
in these pockets that due to my background are "deep.".

Sometimes I curse and call them hopeless sheep,
for pointing fingers to those equally weak.
Often I refrain 'cause it's better than to maim.

So when I have no food or transport to get home
I'm a man my ego wore me and it fits,I didn't ask for it;
besides, paps would say, "get off your feet"
and if my mother heard the stories she'd feel pity
send me more than I need and my ego would shrink.
I don't have it figured out like they think,
all I want is a big brother if dad's too busy,
to guide, teach, and lay a foundation for me
and won't be taken away like my sisters
by men that  please me 'cause it's order of the day,
"nati omuko wasiima, Enzigi zomugulu zegula omwami naalya."
(If the brother in law is pleased, Heaven's gates are open for the husband to feast)
Ayeh I too like many need some long overdue advice,
rather than preach and speak to a house of chairs,
that does not fathom the emotions I fight,

All I want is genuine minute to be asked,
"how are you? No seriously, how are you?"
I swear I'll tell you how I sometimes feel queer,
but I've been celibate too long the devil has started
whispering shit in my itsy bitsy ears,
he wants me to have my buns sans yogurt
yet I like to dunk my flavoured donuts,
that I used to prefer small for some reason
but now I'm grown, A true soul is all I need.
I was taught that it's not about the size
of the sausage nor the mouth it feeds,
It is just that some people are insatiable,
and like to have more than they can eat!
All I want, like everybody else is to be understood
for one to take time to look under the hood;
I know that most of us aren't mechanics
but it doesn't take much to see that an engine
is leaking and the system is down and out run.

All I want is for one to look at the nothingness
the nothingness that is me, beyond the home i'm tenant in,
my beautiful family, the clothes, the visiting money
the material things don't make me who I am,
the only thing in there that I call my own is my family,
beyond this, I am in a lay man's language; lucky

Thursday, 20 October 2016


        On an afternoon break after a harsh morning, I let out a long sigh and with caution fell back into a hammock at la patisserie.. I had an Ice cream con in my hand so I made sure to consumed its divinity rather than spill it over me and add salt to injury. I sunk in, stretched then crossed my short legs and shut my eyes for a moment. My trip to wanderlust commenced.
        The gentle air tickled my hairy fabric, it carried a "je ne se quoi," that bewildered my emotions, From exasperation I felt myself fall into nonchalance. With it, the air carried wafts of floating croissants and assortments of pastrie, It was heaven. Til out of the raving engines of multiple street cars driven by enraged sun scorched crazies came this loose wired woman. She tooted her own horn from the time she turned into the drive way on her noisy Royal Enfield. I cursed her out for disturbing peace until she took off her helmet.Her air was short, mohawk like and delicately spiky.  I got up and turned to sit on the edges in between the hammock and I watched her.
        Being a man(apparently), my mind was blank at this point, she had broken all norms of the stereotyped woman. She was the one!  The sun beamed over her, her skin glimmered like polished oak yet was possibly soft as refined peanut butter. Over gravel in the parking lot she walked with ease and made her way onto the paved pathway. It lead to the patio where I was. Her gait was gentle yet had a determined swing to it. It wasn't sexy; it was artistic- the kind that portrayed a form of self expression untampered. Across me was a set of posh patio furniture made of tainted white metal. She took a sit, threw her left leg over her right going for an European leg cross. Below her knee was a tiny yin and yang tattoo akin to the one on the back of her palm. She pulled out her phone and a novel from her mustard yellow sling bag. She laid them on the table besides an ash tray, the phone atop the latter. "Excuse me," She said to the passing waiter. Her voice denoted a harsh timbre yet when she went on to speak she seemed to mean well. I watched her for a moment, she was strange and I couldn't take it any longer. I got up and walked to her. "Is there any chance I could Join you?" I asked...

To be continued...


Kola pulled his chair towards the table so he'd place his glass and bowl of groundnuts conveniently rather than hold them in his hands.He had been placing the glass on his thigh. A thing that disturbed Magu because he idled his "fine" tea sets like a glassblower and his glassware and dreaded the day they'd fall to the ground and break.

"Let me tell you something, Kola," Magu pushed back in his office chair and arched back his right hand to hold the edge of the handle. "I am nothing! TO-TA-LLY nothing!"
"Oh wow, nothing," Kola remarked as he looked around Magu's enormous office

"I'm just working hard to get where I want to be," Magu carried on. "BUT! people see me with these things and think I have it all figured out yet I don't!" He rocked back in his chair. "I mean... I might not have the same problems you may have... Those problems of kikumi-kikumi (A local metaphor used to belittle an issue) But I have problems. It's just that mine are now for millions. Don't get me wrong, and I apologise if any of this comes off rude. But, I am being honest. I am being a true friend. Not very many will be able to tell you these things, and I am telling you because I want you to get more out of life.I don't want my kids to be associating with a broke uncle. Do you want to be that uncle that I'll never introduce to my kids?"

Magu went silent for a moment and looked at Kola who had clasped his hands before of his face.

"I'm guessing that's a no!"  Kola held his chin and his face lit up with an awkward smirk.
"But seriously Kola, what do you want out of life? Do you know you've had so many opportunities? But your ego has let them slip out of your hands. I know you, I know you very well! When things get tough you bail. isn't that true?"

'oh wow,' Kola thought.

"Take a look at your past with your friend... That guy you started business with... What happened when shit hit the fan? Did you fight for your own, Did you even try? You just runaway, now LOOK at where he is, LOOK! He might not be where I am but he is somewhere... He is somewhere. Do you think you're becoming younger?"

"So what ya say is am a failure, ey? asked Kola. "You no understand, bruh.  I dan been pon di yard working my ass off on a daily, I dan swept the streets with a couple of my yardi boys looking for a shilling. I done been out there spitting poetry and flowing rhyme after rhyme with mi rap basically on the grind and you have the auDAcity to keep on chatting and dancing pon mi ead!  You-a-mad man!..."

Disgruntled by the conversation, Kola shook his head, closed his eyes for a moment and laid back with his hands over his head.   "You no, bruh, I always thought you wanted me to handle tings how you a'handle em."

"No, no, Kola, that's where you get me wrong!"

"Nah bruh, listen!" Check dis, I realised your intent was to tear di pages out of mi book and put deir your own... So all dis while I've been try'na do tings how you want dem to be done instead of takin' on mi own journey and apprecia'tin dat I've made it up to here from zero  So mi dear friend, you could'a compare me to 'im and 'im but you got to be careful. Non of da tings your chasin after a go give you piece of mind.

"Nooo, Kola. Don't get me wrong."

"Deir you go again! Da problem is you never listen, brah, You always keep yappin' and yappin' like you've got some verbal iLLness or sometin'. You better be careful, yeah. I might be the one that's walKin through your life to give you a lesson that you might be missin'"

"Like I said, Kola. I don't know much and I don't even have anything to my name. I just want what's good for you."

"But you na listen! You jut out dere pointin' fingers and disectin' a broda like you know what's in my inner. Let me ask you one quick question, yeah. Do you tink I haven't put in my all for mi business?"

"You convinced yourself you had done enough and you've opted to leave the country as a scapegoat from your problems. But, let me tell you something. You are going to leave them here and your going to come back when they have multiplied threefold! But anyway, the final resolve is by you . I can say all these things but at the end of the day, it's you that makes the final decision."

Kola nodded his head and said, "True... true."

Mindi, Kola's friend walked in on them from the reception where she waited for him.   "I've been hearing you two mumu's(fools) going on and on about nothing like little girls," Said Mindi.
They looked at her in shock, she took off her spectacles to rub her eyes. and placed them onto Magu's table
"So I had to come in to stop you so I can finish my book... Magu, You better be thankful to God for giving you the ability that you have and blessing your endeavours. All the clients you approach have the capability of saying no, but God's grace softens their hearts and opens doors for you. Don't forget that!" Magu scratched is bold head.
 "Kola, You lazy mumu!" Kola looked down shamed by her words.
"Things don't come easy, especially in business! God can only bless the work of you hands if you are committed and persistent. It's also important to know that many of us are anointed to do certain things. A lot of times we do other things to get us to that point. I can't tell you what's for you. But, you'll know when you know! One last thing. Money isn't the epitome of success. We get that wrong in this materialistic world that pressurises us, puts us in positions where we become selfish and lose our way. We should learn to be content whilst working to keep ourselves afloat and happy."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Where's my mac?

After taking a shower, Olivia searched her bag to find her favourite make up.

"O.M.G! I can't believe this bitch! She took my 'MAK'." Said Olivia. Her friend kidema was seated on the bed watching her as she flipped her bag pouring out everything onto her bed to look for her mac. 

"I wonder why she calls it 'MAK.' It's MAC! Ah!" 

"But you know she studied in SA," said Kidema." So she likes to pick up accents... But how sure are you she's the one that took it?" 

"I CAN SMELL HER PERFUME ALL OVER MY BAG! It's like she baths in it! Gosh!" I wonder how her boyfriend turns her on. First of all she's  vantablack and then all that perfume on her neck... looorrdd"

"Haaaa! Olivia you're sooo evil! She's not all that dark. But giiiirl! I'm just lucky she's gone. I love her but she talks toooo much. I always feel a squeak in my ear. You know like, when you've been listening to really loud music a while. 

"I knooow.... hahahha! I wonder if she listens to herself when she's talking. Her boyfriend must tell her "baby, I love you, but shuuuut up!" 

"Hey maje, you alright" said Kidema... She pumped her fist on her chest as if mimicking the sign out of a fist pump. 

"Haha. I wonder, what that word 'maje' means" said Olivia. She must hang out a lot with those locals in her neighboured... You know, 
She's so unbelievable. Especially for someone that's grown up from a really wealthy family. She's just too strange!" 

"I remember the first time I met her," said KIdema." "She was wearing this really long beautiful white dress. I think it was a Friday or something. And she was ranting about how she hates long dresses cause they make her feel like she's dragging a wedding dress. I looked at her in awe. This was like the first thing that came out of her mouth. Then she introduced herself as she sort of pulled back her hair..." 

"She does that a lot, right? Said Olivia. "She's actually pretty shy. It surprises me most times"

"Yeah! So anyway, she goes ahead and asks me, "Maje, do you smoke?" I'm thinking what?! It was so random. She's so random. Ooh poor thing!" 
kidema sat back in her chair and went into a state of ponder... 

"I swear I can't find my mac." Said Olivia. She paced all over her room checking out her dresser and reading table but all in vain. She went onto her knees to look under bed. 

"Ooh, look! It's here..." Olivia scratched her head and looked to the ground in shame.

"And there you were accusing your friend, shame on you! "