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Conjolted Poetry

Conjolted Poetry

Thursday, 24 April 2014

I needed to breath


These many words I write,
among the poets that wrote.


are a chance for me to breath,
to emote what I truly feel.


They will be a tale of proof
about this journey that thus far,


has me feeling asphyxiated-
like I'm locked in polythene bag


Wednesday, 23 April 2014

I hope one day you find me

It often seems like I know nothing about you,
you're like an illusion in my life.Sometimes-
I know you, other times  you're a mystery
alas they say you can only know so much,

I have tried to discover you in many ways,
sometimes I get lost trying to find the truth
or is it that what I find is not satisfactory?
I am now lost in the things I sought.

You see your love is not a house,
It is a mirage of a home I float upon-
hoping it won't leave me homeless.
for truly we all need shelter.

I hope one day though,
You read these words so.
Maybe to find out things you did not know,
Or just to fill that one sit in my show..

Where most times there's no one watching,
the sits are empty, and lights are glistening,
as I whine and unwind trying to emote
yet its you dear who's always on my thoughts.

So these words I wrote are guides on our road.
they could mean much if you looked through,
they'll let you know where I want us to go,
they are my truth as I seek the truth,

and as I wander this meandering path,
of secrets untold and trials to overcome,
I hope one day you'll find me.
and find that I am lost as you might be.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

I faltered

I faltered.

I faltered-
helped you falter.

My sin to my soul,
our sin to our souls,
we all pay for letting it in.

Who knows were we have been?
seeking sin and letting it in. 

God only knows,
For God's surveillance works round the clock.
And in the database,
we have faltered.

If only our reflections,
would help us sit and reflect

We would know that each kiss,
steals away a lifetime of bliss,

Yet it is this,
we run to for bliss.

Who knows?
It might be it,

Crossing my fingers,
we don't end up whipped..

I faltered,
helped you falter,
we joined the herd
and turned into cowards.

Now we need the Sheppard.

Monday, 21 April 2014

Love [performance piece]

love

I'm writing everyday,
trying to figure out a way
for you to stay
and for me to say;
I love you.

I'm your number one fan-
yet your not famous.
But to me, you're a star,
not a Hollywood star,
they'd step over you like tar,
watching that would hurt.
And I know you don't love me
it doesn't take a genius.
albeit it'd be opportune,
If we'd purchase love.
I'd run to your store
and ensure it sold out.

Ayeh,

I don't usually say much,
I come off as cheesy and
uneasy when I share a slice,
so I am barricaded-
yet on paper I spew,
silence is a komodo
relatively extinct in my mind
yet I sink in its lack thereof,
as I think inane thoughts,
of drawing love hearts in sand-
for you to look at.
writing notes like Coelho-
for you to look up.
But I'm no writer,
despite having written things
some said to be splendid,
but you, stay still and in silence,
stealing my shine like a bandit,
taking another piece of me,
yet still I let you have it...

Take it away, take it away,
maybe one day,
we'll walk the isle,
in a stretch of tulips,
Side by side.
In your hands peonies,
the freshest they could find
for you're the freshest I've found
and I want to preserve you,
like they do precious things,
and when this fiend of a dream,
crawls out of the dark,
with you in an actual gown,
we could seal the deal,
release our inhibitions
like we have longed to.
Then stare at the stars-
all night, like lovers do...

I'm writing everyday,
trying to figure out a way
for you to stay
and for me to say;
I love you..

So I'm looking for fans,
maybe, if I were like you,
you'd know I adore you.
Some one told I'm in too deep,
taking the highway to hell,
to a place where people lack sleep.
but I'm in it for the long run
if my legs break, then I'll crawl
for I have big dreams.
I see you and I with a baby or two-
in place so far, far away,
in a villa or chateau...

You're not my type,
you've broken my pattern,
you're  rich coffee-
in my hot water heart,
you've changed everything!
I feel like we're like poles
repelling each other,
yet the further we go
the bigger the black hole
in my heart yet who am I,
to define this ludicrous ET?

This alien feeling that came
soaring in a spaceship,
abducted and brainwashed me.
leaving me powerless sans manual
I am now obsessing over;
a possessive feeling-
I'm compulsive,
this state is demeaning.
How can you, no, how can I,
let you see past the blind spot
where I await you with open arms,
to bless you with love sacred as psalms?

I'm writing everyday,
trying to figure out a way
for you to stay
and for me to say;
I love you 

Sunday, 20 April 2014

Invest in blessings.

From the skies that resurrect land with rains,
to sun that warms us and helps us harvest,
to vast water bodies that cannot cross paths,
which we utilise to revitalise and clean our bodies,

To herbs and crops that grow on our land,
to animals that protect us and provide food,
we truly are all blessed; ayeh
we should also invest in our blessings

I invest in hope, faith, and hard work,
It's hard to strive if you can't borrow from the future,
hope gives you vision, faith gives you confidence
Hard work is cumbersome but it does pay off.

I invest in prayer and patience,
We all struggle daily to achieve things,
no matter how small they might be. we all do.
Prayer is pep talk and patience brings forth reward.

I invest in friendship and commitment.
If you take time off to show affection and care,
if you're patient and seek to understand
God pays you back with true friendship,

I invest in love and family.
I give love to friends, foes, and family,
for we are all descendants off the same tree,
we uplift each other, if we are there for one another.

If we are grateful and not green in envy,
or shadowed by a canopy of pride.
or waver in belief as we struggle and strive
there's reward in investing in our blessings ..

Friday, 18 April 2014

I want it all

I am selfish-
I want love,
even if its bitter,.
You will find that past the sugar,
love is truly bitter-sweet.

I am selfish-
I want money.
even if it's evil.
You'll find that past its power-
it is a necessity in our societies.

The things I long for light up desire in my heart,
yet often deem out my inner glowing soul.
and that light helps me see past yonder,
and stay in touch with the on that guides me.

I am selfish-
at least, I know it.
I want it all,
the money, cars, 
clothes, and gold;


Ayeh, is any of it worth anything at all?

Sunday, 13 April 2014

"Sir, all I want is justice!"

"Sir, all I want is justice!"

"Why do they throw stones?
Why are they punishing me?
They are the reason my dog barks."

His breath was nasty,
mine was worse.
He must have been drinking,
I hadn't yet brushed

He din't have a point to drive home.
albeit his query tested my patience,
and I eventually let him into my home,
where we talked of nothing but Rome.

Empowerment and lack of power,
acting like the Romans or acting right?
Justice and injustice, right and wrong,
peace in the here after and letting troubles be.

"they throw stones at my home,
they say my dog barks all the time.
but it only barks when attacked,
and I have done nothing to them!"

"Why do they throw stones?
Why are they punishing me?
They are the reason my dog barks."

Strangers pick and throw the stones,
to this old man's old home,
he needed to vent, he needed justice,
I had none to offer him
Only water to cool him.

"The constable came to my home,
Pulled out his lathis, the big stick.
Asked me why I spoke English,
I said it's an English speaking country."

"What can I do sir?"
He raised his hands and asked me.

'I'm only a boy-man,' I thought.
'I know I turned 22 yesterday,
But how can I help you whose 79?'
I felt pressured, I couldn't deny.

Ayeh silence kept me in the zone,
so I listened to him go on and on.

"They hit me with their lathis,
I tried to bribe them with a 100 rupees.
but they kept me in the cell,
I sweated so much and yelled.
When the rich man bribed with 200 rupees,
 they let him out the cell."

"These police men! Puh!
So corrupt! They made me suffer,
but in the end they will suffer.
God knows I have worked hard."
"What is your name? He asked."
"Ibrahim."
"Ooh! Name of a god,
all names are names for god's,
I am Hindu man, I have studied bible,
Jesus suffered so much for our sins,
his own people punished him."

"Why do these people punish me?"
Why do they want me to suffer?
I used to work so hard, and they used to pay me 100 rupees.
My wife is sick, diabetes. I need to feed my family,
these neighbour's are so bad, simply talking bad things!"

"Sir, all I want is justice!"

I am no judge,
I wished I were.
I was his neighbour,
I hoped to be among the good.

From one conversation to another,
we jumped to the moon and back,
to his childhood and transition to manhood,
as I sat and patiently listened.

"I want to study Qur'an,
Who is Ibrahim?" he asked.
"Well in the Qur'an his the father of all nations."
Luckily I was on a recent verge of completing the Qur'an.
so I gave him what I had taken time off to learn.

"I need to study the Quran and more of the bible.
I need to go and purchase." he said
I offered him my second Quran to cut his chase.
"should I pay?"
"no, no, don't worry about it."
"thank you very much, thank you,
Any doubt I'll come to you."
"Sure uncle, no problem."

I got lost in thought,
Wondering on the ways God works,
Wondering on how my housemate,
who was also on the way to open the door-
from up stairs would have handled the gentleman,
Wondering why I choose to drop-
the broom as I cleaned my room,
Yet I had just complained
of people who visit at the wrong time-
once the bell had rung.
I wondered...

My time was invested but not wasted,
My faith was tested but reinvested.
Our conversation was a questionnaire unresolved

"look at me," he said,
"I have no teeth, people always ask
why I eat slow. (he laughed)
You have to respect food,
thank God, He gives and takes."
I remembered and mentioned to him
how the Quran speaks of God
granting us life from youth
where we acquire wisdom,
and to old age where we grow-
frail and he takes it all away.

"Ibrahim, thank you, thank you, thank you..
God is everywhere, He gives and takes.
He gave me this nose to breath, eyes, ears,
(he pointed to all his features) and He is everywhere!"
"Thank you very much Ibrahim, thank you.
But,

Why do they throw stones?
Why are they punishing me?
They are the reason my dog barks."
He said it one last time..

"anyway, let it be! Thank you."

"No problem uncle, have a good day."

Saturday, 12 April 2014

Down the street in slumber


"Honk! Honk!"
I tried to cross the street.
The roads were new to me,
like notes off a musical sheet.

The hooting and hollering,
second nature in this town.
The buildings and skirting-
different from my town.

I reached down the street,
and wide window frames,
encompassed big showrooms,
filled with skinny Caucasians..

A lady in a black dress,
fine as Kashmir silk,
ogled down at me
like an owl up a tree

I wondered,
if the man besides her-
was the one for her,
or if he even knew her.

I crossed the street,
buried my desires.
Ayeh my mind...
couldn't put it to sleep,

'til music started to sweep.
and knocked me off my feet
where was it coming from?
In a black block round the corner

I climbed the funnel'd stairs,
steep and cumbersome to leap,
I felt pity for the tiny girls in heels,
till they passed by saying things.

"He looks so tense,"
one of them said,
at the expense-
of my assumed dumbness,

But she lost her stance,
then tumbled down-
to the streets expanse, and
my mind did a little dance..

I reached the entrance,
stared at my self-
in the glass mirror,
and the words she spoke;
before me mirrored.

My empathy was renewed,
yet skewed a little too late,
I had no chance for me to glance-
in remorse over her failed stance.

I carried on to the first floor;
it was a music showroom,
so I stood where I could,
for it barely had room,

I caught a glimpse of the pianist,
but what caught my eye the most
was the beautiful brown artist-
her voice could make you cry...

So I stood there in awe,
till the end of my show...

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Sans toi je serais mort

Tu me manques...
You're like the sound of my heart;
missing.
I can't hear it go thump thump,
I must have been robbed,
a heart transplant wouldn't fix me up.
What I need, you see,
is more than fixing..

How can I say...??
Tu me manques,

I am dry and cracked land;
unblessed.
Treasures burried within me-
must be rotting away like a carcass,
for I am infertile.
What I lack, you see,
is purpose..

How can I say...?
Tu me manques,

Docteur says my blood lacks a pump,
I am sombre, blue-black;
deadish!
My Ecg track reader is no longer bouncing,
the line is plummeting,
I wonder if hell is where I am bound.
What I need, you see;
Is life.

How can I say...?
Tu me manques,

I am dead,
the reaer gave me one last pome.
They carrying my corpse to its grave,
It is... How do you say,
Hefty.
A piece of it is somewhere pieced to you.
please come back before I am reaped of soul,
resurrect me,
for you are..
Hmmm,

How can I say...?
Tu me manques..

Sans toi je serais mort,
"But for you I would have died,"
yet away you went,
and somehow,
you took my heart,
now I lay here spent,
this is not what I meant.

Tu me manques....
J'espère vous voir bientôt

Neighbour, neighbour.

Neighbour, neighbour.

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

When I came to to your hood,
I remember your face was dark and gloomy;
you were uninviting and and clearly in a bad mood.
I then realised this was not a place for me to act shoddy.

"What to do? what to do?"
I asked myself having no clue,
So I baked a cake for peace sake,
thinking we could dine,
ayeh that wasn't a piece of cake.

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

You the the cake to my face,
my pastry went to waste
in an absurd yet comic place,
I turned clown filled with white paste.

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

So I forgot about you,
lived my life like I knew how to,
played Fùr Elise like I had learned to,
all night and day as if I sought pay.

"ding-dong, ding-dong,"
I asked myself who it could be,
and by the door, who knew it would be,
you in your sneakers and well pressed pants,
here to make me sweat as you blubber and rant.

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

You complained about noise,
your spit embraced my nose,
you whined like you sought applause
you sounded like water out a hose..

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

You called my landlord,
unlike you, he had no anger to unload,
you wasted spit then your fit went down the pit,
so I celebrated my independence for your lack of wit.

I pulled out my stove and placed it by the back yard,
sent out my invites allowing friends to my Asgard,
and by the clock of night you stood by on guard.
When BBQ smoke rose,you turned red like a rose,
and poured water over the chef and stove.

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you pour your anger over me?

The police came over,
turned the peaking fight over,
gave us time to cause hangovers,
and again, you, the sore loser..

Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Neighbour, neighbour,
# splash!
Why do you wash your anger over me?

Your sin.

Your sin.

Do not call to account that which is not yours.
for yours is yours alone like the skin that wraps your bones.

Do not call off transgressions that you masterminded,
pointing fingers to the lot that connived and aided..

Bare in mind your burdens are yours and yours alone
and their heftiness in your left palm is caused by your naughty ways,

Don't not call to account that which is not yours,
for the books have been tallied and your are accountable-. 

For yours and only yours.

Baptise me.

Sins we bare are burdens to our feeble souls
they say our messiah died for them aboard;
a cross that symbolised the greatest sacrifice.

But verily we should owe much gratitude,
to God who sent him to rescue and save us,
for at the end of it all God chooses what should be.

Tis' your holly water I seek,
Tis' you holly water I long for
To wash my sin and loath

My eyes have aided my many crimes,
yet my will can tell right from wrong.
ayeh, still, I ogle slimming my chances.

My mental enslavement to sin burdens me,
I long to squander my blunders then slumber,
and leave behind the strife of this life.

Reign over my sin before death claims it's win,
ordain me from disdain for it eats away my din,
your holly water is what made me and cures my sin,.

Tis' your holly water I seek,
Tis'  you holly water I long for
To wash my sin and loath
So I can be baptised and cleansed;
of sin and hate within me.