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Conjolted Poetry

Conjolted Poetry

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Heart break hotel.

Heart break hotel.

There is a thin between sanity and insanity.
Breaking the barrier back to sanity is always tough,
but belief in God picks you up for his your ultimate love;
the one that comes first.

It was an ordinary day out in the tropics ayeh the sun burnt brighter than usual, I could almost smell my hair burn from the heat waves. With nothing to do, as we sat out in the sun with the boys joking and laughing over high school days, we decided to step out and go for a swim. We went out to Munyonyo resort, the only place then with an Olympic size pool, which was about to send me diving into a jackpot.
We got there at about four and headed straight to the pool side. Usually I don't like to swim right away, I like to have the boys take their awkward jumps into the pool, then I follow in with a few stretches and a silent dive like some sort of Michael Phelps.
This time, when they were all done, I had just got out of the shower, I forgot to do the stretches, I came in running and dived into the pool. I didn't take note of who was in my way, so when I dived, I collided with someone that was doing submarine across the pool.
My head hit her legs, so I lost focus for a short while. When I managed to pull up and out of the pool,
The boys were cracking because they saw it coming and it was a clear moment of joy for their asses to laugh off, those nut heads. karma is a bitch huh?
I hadn't yet seen the person I had bumped into, but she came out of the pool and walked up to me and asked if she could help.She apologised for my blunder, she was an amicable stranger.
I cleared the air and told her it was all my fault, so she smacked my head and told me that was for failing to look where I was headed. Then she rubbed at it some more.
"ouch!" I cried.
"Don't be such a big baby.." she said.
So I held her hand and turned to look at her, I stuttered for a moment, she was beautiful. Dressed in a fine bikini, with a body to kill for. Then I told her,
"hey, your not the one that got hit on the head."
She laughed and asked me to turn so she could rub it before it could swell.
I didn't get back into the pool, I never do anyway. I always get the cold jitters once I'm out. So I left them freezing in there as I enjoyed warm company...
It felt like a beautiful last laugh.

The day ended when we had checked in,
the moon settled in slowly,
the texts went back and forth,
I had finally met a new person.
and it wasn't from school like always.
Her name was Caslanthia,
days later the woman of my dreams;
the woman that kept me sane.

I didn't believe much in love,
but her love was convincing.
It got us dining in several places,
encroaching each other's spaces.
getting wasted and imbibed in loves drug,
we were hooked, like slaves on cuffs.
Only we never sought freedom,
it lived with us.

We ate off the fruit,
of course it tasted like the most beautiful thing in the world.
We cuddled and flickered eyelashes over our faces.
called ourselves names; cookie is what she called me,
It was fitting because she always liked to take a bite off me.
I called her cherry, because she was beautiful and tasted like one.
and I always loved it when she wore red lipstick,
it made her look like my model, a heaven sent model,
cat walking with her fine wings, only for me.

This one day she called me up early in the morning and said to me,
"cookie, I'm sorry, but I have just been told that I will be leaving the country soon."

It was heart breaking news,
I stuttered for a moment,
it did not matter how many days she was left with,
the fact that she was leaving soon is what broke me.
She was about to check out and leave me the bill,
as if that wasn't enough, I could barely deal with thoughts
of 'what could have been? would she ever come back?'
The thoughts burdened my mind, as they levitated,
they made fall deep into a black hole.
All the light in my world started to fade out,
I started sailing from sanity to insanity,
and I took a sharp blade like road to get there.
I was deeply cut, I sobbed for many days,
Ignored her and worsened her days.
We had hit turmoil, with no oil-
to lubricate and smooth out our great fall.


I was never a firm believer in God,
Something about religion always felt odd.
The contradictions, the strange expeditions.
It was all too much to take in.
She was a Muslim with a difference,
she would blow up if your pissed her off,
but was truly never the type to engage in dispute,
always as peaceful as a peahen,
and only believed in the oneness of Allah.
Allah was her light and shining armour; her first love,
she served him daily, and I came second.

A month before she left, she asked me for a favour, she asked me to try and seek Him.
She asked me to pray, believe and hope that one day we would get back together.
It all seemed highly unlikely, she wanted me to put my faith in this man,
I could not feel or reach. It all sounded like a gamble, driving me further into insanity.

But I did, I did what she asked. I could not say no to her, so I tried, I tired as hard as I could.
The first few days were confusing, so much to learn, so much to take in with my lack of faith.
I was a new born in the world of religion, but she held my hand and helped me travel that road.
Nothing had ever felt as superior as the love I had for her, although with the understanding of Allah and his ways, I grew a fondness, I learnt to trust, I learnt that there will always be bad days, I learnt that with falls came greater heights and all it took was belief.
I was eased at that point, somewhat convinced that one day we would hold hands again, that one day our paths would cross again as we had desired, so I set her free and she flew away when her time came.

I cried myself to sleep several nights after that. My friends did not understand what I had become.
I was humbled by change, more spiritual, I guess you could say blessed.
In my tears I spoke much to Allah, I cursed him for taking her away, for making my days lonesome and short of lustre, but He was patient with me, He waited for my numb heart to settle down.


Months passed as we communicated everyday on phone, it had become expensive and unbearable. But we struggled through it. I was more in touch with Allah than I was with her, I had grown into a new relationship, one which cost me nothing but belief and faith. I talked to Allah more than I did her, and it was so easy going about life after I decided to take that path. I knew he would never let me down, even if I hit a slump, I knew he would pick me up from it. So He tested me...

It was Saturday afternoon, I had just gone back home from the mosque when her father called. Usually when he would call, he was always asking me how she was doing or inviting me over to his place. This time round, it was a 666 phone-call, a call from the angel of death.
"Caslanthia has been announced dead," he said.
He apologised then hang up.
My phone dropped from my hands, my knees grew weary and I collapsed.
Tears run down my eyes and hit the floor, my mind paced and made me lose control.
That day I did nothing more, I did not even pray. I stayed in bed all day.
Later that evening a phone call from her mother came in.
"Hello,"  She had soft voice.
"How are you, Aldrige?"
"Probably not worse than you are, ayeh am barely hanging on."
"Things will get better. Come by tomorrow, we will be sending her off."
She could barely speak the words.
"I'm sorry ma'am."
"Don't be, this is what life is. thank you for being there for her. I hope to see you tomorrow."
"I will definitely be there, take care, ma'am."
"You too, darling."
In just one year, my life had managed to take a trip from sanity to insanity, back to sanity and another trip back down the hell fire of insanity.
The line was surely thin. But this time insanity seemed to have claimed a win.
Her body flew in the next day after her mother had called me and they waited no longer. They got to the burial arrangements that evening.
I could not imagine what her family was going through. So as I set off from home that day, I asked Allah to give me the strength and deliverance I needed.
My tears had dried out so I was firm when I got there. The session was long and filled with so many sobs, it was a sad day. Her father asked me to deliver her eulogy and I had come prepared to say something besides that. So it was an honour.

"I don't know where to start from honestly, they's so much to say, I shall try to sum it up.
Meeting Caslanthia was an accident I thank Allah for everyday.
For before that day, I would have never known how Allah mysteriously works.
I bumped into her as I dived into a pool. I caused the accident because of my clumsiness but she walked up to me and helped me either way. From that moment on, I knew she had heart of gold and her soul purpose for life was to glitter the world with her warm embrace.
I believe even if you barely knew her on a personal level, she touched you somehow. ayeh if she wronged you, I ask on her behalf for you to forgive her. As none of us is perfect.
I could stand here and tell you about all the good she has brought unto me, but I won't for my story is one that speaks volumes of her.
Before I leave I would like to thank Cookie for introducing me to Allah, she gave me a path way, a new life to an endless relationship. One that might not be perfect because of my mishaps but one that brought me here and gave me the courage to send her off with peace.
I will forever love her and I know she will wind up in the right place. Aslaam alaiekum."
When I walked of the podium in front of a large crowd that had gathered to send her off, I felt a lift on my body, I felt sanity lift my light body. I was no more burdened by her death, I had managed to send her off in peace and my heart had grown into ease; although, I would have never made it out of that point if it was not for my belief in Allah. So I thank Caslanthia, she was surely my heaven sent angel.

As I checked out of heartbreak hotel from the podium, I tripped on the stairs, landing on a person that was besides them. When I rose from the ground to dust my self off , I looked up to the lady that I had knocked once again because of my clumsiness and said to myself,
"Allah surely does work in a mysterious way."

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